My heart broke open a bit this weekend....I made my almost annual trek to the Toronto Yoga Conference...this is always such a big treat for me....time to immerse myself in my life force....
It's been forever & a day since I've written a blog post....to be honest, it's been forever & a day since I wanted to write....the last couple of years have been challenging for me...my heart's been broken in every way & my spirit has been almost extinguished....I have however survived....I've climbed out of the deep, wet, muddy mess & am renewed....
Today I had the chance to spend the afternoon with 3 of my favorite people...we had a very lovely time at a local winery....we sampled a number of their wines & then each of us having chosen our favourite, we found a comfortable place to sit, ordered a yummy snack & then settled in for some girl talk. It was such a lovely afternoon...as I made my way home after such a wonderful day my heart was full & I found that I had tears in my eyes...
How did I possibly get so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life? I must admit that I'm usually very selective of those who I make my heart-mates...but these lovelies have circumvented my usual vetting of those whom I let close to my heart. Apparently they knew far sooner than I did that I needed them as my friends. I feel safe & able to be most open & honest with them...My heart is wide open to them.
My Yoga practice has thrived of late. Mostly due to my commitment to my own practice, but also due to the unhindered support from my heart-mates...they are always willing to listen to my successes & of course willing to listen to my struggles...for this I am eternally grateful. As an extra added bonus they are truly my friends...they care about the uncertainty that I feel about the big changes happening in my life now & they are supportive without judgement...for this too I am eternally grateful.
As I prepare to move far away from my Once in a Lifetime Kind Of People my heart grows heavy...heavy because soon I won't have the opportunity to see them in person whenever I desire. I won't easily be able to swing by one of my favorite Yoga studios to share a class.
But, this is the beauty of Yoga. Those who are connected to you & your practice will always find a way to stay there....this is my true belief.
To my Once in a Lifetime Kind of People, I love you with my entire heart. You will never know how you have brought the most important Joy into my life. I truly don't know what I would have done these last few months without you...you have saved me by bringing a light to my heart & a pick up to my practice. A pick up
I do thank you so very much for your gift. And I love you.
Namaste my friends
The New Year is shaping up to be a busy one! So many new things on the horizon; 1/2 a dozen new on-line workshops, & a few in studio workshops. A new downloadable Yoga Nidra CD (you can listen to a sample here!) & an article or 2 to be published in some of my favorite e-magazines. I'm finishing up a couple of Freedom Meditation Shawl commissions & introducing some new shawl designs & yoga/meditation accessories. Phew!
I'm quite excited about all of it, but right now I'm most excited about the Yamas & Niyamas Life Shawl workshop! A 10 month journey exploring Yoga's ethical principles & creativity. The results of the work that will take place during this workshop will give students the opportunity to perform an in-depth personal investigation of the 1st two limbs of Yoga's 8-Limb Path. The insights discovered will be used to set meaningful intentions that will be used in the meditative flow of weaving fabric.
The next session starts February 1st; are you ready to journey into your inner life?
Namaste my friends!
I went to Yoga this morning. It feels weird to say that since I practice every single day, but this morning there was a feeling of "newness" to it. I don't usually have a 6AM time-slot open to practice on a Friday morning because my schedule, up until last week, had me teaching at that time. But life has a way of offering up what is required right at the perfect time.
Big changes are heading my way. A new job for my guy, the selling of my beloved home, a move to another province & the letting go of the daily interactions with Friends I hold close to my heart. Saying goodbye to Students who have taught me so much more than they can imagine. There's a tightness in my throat when I think about this. My teeth clench & my shoulders round in toward my heart as if to protect it.
So, I went to Yoga this morning. I needed the energy of the room. That generously offered sound of the group's ujjayi breath brought me strength & a quiet calm. It reminded me that there is solace in a shared practice. It reminded me why I come to my mat every day. It reminded me that you can not be a Teacher unless you are a Student.
As I move along the next part of my journey there will be challenges & struggles I am sure. There's something about all this change that makes me feel like that 9 year old girl who walked into the Grade 4 class; the new kid. The tallest girl in the class with the homemade dress, matching kerchief & mismatched socks. As the years pass by & I grow older, these feelings don't change. They are still there deep down. But now I have my mat. That place where I know how to be truly open to what my body & mind is telling me it needs. That place where all is safe, all is forgiving, all is true & all is available for the taking.
So, that's why I went to Yoga this morning. I went to rediscover my Mojo & to borrow from those around me. And as always, they gave me what I needed without asking anything in return.
Namaste my Friends,
Father's Day is upon us...this has been weighing heavily on my mind & occupying my thoughts as I've meditated & practiced this past week...I have also been thinking about my Gran this past week...yesterday marked my beloved Gran's birthday; the first since her passing...this has found me feeling very nostalgic. I'm struggling to determine if my unsettled heart & my inability to focus on my breath as I practice has to do with tomorrow or yesterday. I'm feeling confused.
Regardless of the turmoil in my heart I have managed to get my daily practice in...my practice has helped me immensely...As I have come to sit in quiet meditation every day, although I am struggling, I have somehow found some solace.
I must confess that the preoccupation in my mind has caused me great challenge when it comes to diet...I am regularly seeking comfort food..hmmmmmm...interesting....
So although my heart is both heavy & confused, I am comforted by the fact that I have my practice to go to...there is a place of refuge for me. I am sad that I am still struggling to find happiness in my relationship with my Dad; I am aware that time is ticking away. I am aware that I am wasting time...and yet, still I struggle...
I know what my darling Gran would tell me...she'd say "Lacey, smarten the %*^*^&( up"....no really, that's what she'd say!
I sure do miss her....
Namaste my friends...
Week 1 under my belt....
My body is feeling deliciously sore from all the Chaturanga Dandasanas & Utkatasanas I've done this week. You know what I'm talking about! That sweet ache that reminds you that you've worked hard. I feel great! Really, I do...I took my first warm Yoga class...& I have to say I was surprised at how much I loved it. I don't know that I'd want it any hotter, but I felt very loosey goosey in the class....
Although I felt great about my practice, at times this week I felt frustrated & quite impatient. Just like many of you, I'm a lot of the time looking for the "quick fix"...the instant result even though I know in my head that I'm not going to wake up in the morning & be magically transformed. Wouldn't it be nice if it worked that way though? :) This is going take some work.
I taught my classes this week with a feeling of freedom & openness; a sense of joy; a sense of calm groundedness. I felt very centred & like I belonged...I really have no idea if this description translates well to you, but it's the only way I can think of to describe how I felt. This became most evident to me tonight while I shared a Nidra practice with a small group of beautiful souls. Although I was quite aware of my students & paid attention to them throughout the whole practice, I also experienced a very deep sense of "right". I just knew that I was in the right place at the right time. It all just fit.
I'm noticing a disconnect between the physical part of the challenge & the other parts. I'm loving the movement of my practice. When I close my eyes & I move through my asana I feel beautiful. As soon as I float back into a Peaceful Warrior I find a glimmer of bliss. But when I try to hop forward from Adho Mukha Svanasana to Uttanasana my feet catch on my mat & I just can't get there...I see it in my mind...I see myself gracefully floating up & forward...but then BAM! I stumble over my own feet. As soon as that happens I automatically lose the nexus of my practice. Perhaps I'm too much in my head?
How do I fix this? I'm not talking about the "float forward".....I'm talking about disconnect....
Namaste my friends...
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
So here I am at Day 1 of my self-imposed 90 Days of Summer Challenge!
I spent some time this morning meditating in my studio. Even though I meditate every day, today's Meditation somehow felt different; I approached it with a hightened feeling of excitement. Usually when I come to my meditation cushion it's with a feeling of calm and sometimes relief. Perhaps it's the excitement of starting a new challenge for myself that is making the difference.... in the end I guess it doesn't really matter what the reason is, what matters is that I'm here.
I'm planning on a juicy Yin practice later this afternoon...lots & lots of Dragons are in my future. I'm sensing that I have some stuff to let go of & what better way then to get down onto the floor in some long held Dragon Flying Low & Winged Dragons! I'm using this week's Yin practices as my planning sessions for my upcoming Wild Dragon Yin/Yoga Nidra workshop...
I'm also going to dip my toe into the not too hot, but warm Yoga classes offered by a new boutique-style studio that is just opening close to my town...in the past I've shied away from any class held in a room that wasn't room temperature (seriously, I can break a sweat lifting my water bottle to my mouth! Do I really need to be moving through a bunch of poses in a warmer than warm room?) but I'm feeling renewed & "motivated to start fresh" (I knew that statement would come back to bite me in the ass!), so why not try something new?
I haven't taken pen to paper just yet, but will be visiting my personal journal after my Yin practice...I wonder what revelations will be shared!
Namaste my friends
Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really
I LOVE Spring. I like Summer. I like Fall. I DESPISE Winter with a passion that rivals my hatred of brussels sprouts.
Those first warm sunny days of Spring; you know the ones. Those days that feel so hot even though they're really not. They just feel almost unbearable because we've just survived the dark at 4:30 PM sub-zero temperatures of a Canadian winter during which we had to bundle up in boots, puffy coats, hats, mitts & scarves. Going to work in the dark morning & having to scrape the snow & frost off the windshield. Warming up the car before you can pull out of the driveway (that hopefully doesn't need to be shovelled). Leaving work in the dark late afternoon & having to scrape the snow & frost off the windshield. Warming up the car before you can pull out of the parking lot (that hopefully doesn't need to be plowed). There is no better feeling than those first beautiful Spring days.
I feel restored, renewed & revived when Spring arrives. I feel a physical shift in my mood. The weight lifts off my shoulders & the smile on my face becomes authentic as it finally starts its Spring journey to brighten my eyes. I'm excited & perhaps even relieved that I've made it through the Dark Days.
I feel motivated to start fresh & renew commitments to goals that have been place on hold or maybe have just been ignored over the last 4 or 5 months.
So it's time for a brand-spankin'-new goal. It's the 90 Days of Summer Challenge. I want to enjoy my Summer but at the same time I want to ensure that I don't allow my Yoga & Meditation practice to fall by the wayside. I want to make sure my Students continue to get my A-game when they come to class. I want to allow this beautiful time of year to fuel my creativity.
Here's the 90 Days of Summer Transformation Plan....
Starting on June 1st & running until August 31st.....
1. Practice Yoga every day (okay this one is pretty easy since I already do!)
2. Meditate every day (already do this too!)
3. Eat responsibly at every meal
4. Journal every day
5. Blog about my progress once a week
Wanna join me? I'd love the company!
Namaste my friends,